At a Circassian table the most respected elder presides: the thamate, in Kabardian тхьэмадэ, in Adyghe тхьаматэ. The eldest sits furthest from the door, the guest gets the place of honour, and the young stand when an elder comes in and wait to be invited before they sit, eat or speak.
The thamate, who leads the table
Every Circassian gathering has a thamate: the oldest or most qualified person present, an elder chosen for his knowledge and reputation. The word can also simply mean “leader”. At a feast such as a wedding he presides: he keeps the rhythm of the speeches, decides who speaks and in what order, and sets the order of the toasts.
The same role is known across the Caucasus. One theory even traces the Georgian word for a toastmaster, tamada, to the Circassian word for leader; another derives it from Persian.
Seats of honour
Circassian etiquette has rules for where people sit and stand. Inside a room the most honourable place is the seat furthest from the door, kept for the eldest or most respected person, while the young sit near the door or the hearth. The right side is the more honourable one: walking together, a younger man keeps to the elder’s left.
Elders and the young
Age sets the order at the table. A younger person stands when an elder enters, does not sit without permission, and does not interrupt or speak before the elder does. In the words of the app’s Habze lessons, a younger person never sits, eats or speaks before someone older invites them. When it is time to drink, the youngest serves and the eldest drinks first. And on leaving, the young step back rather than turn their back on an elder.
What is drunk has changed over time: before Islam Circassians made a mead-like drink from honey, and afterwards tea, ayran and other non-alcoholic drinks gradually took the place of alcohol.
Guests and hosts
A guest was traditionally seen as “a messenger from God”. At the table the guest is always seated in the place of honour, and a good host serves the best he has before even asking who the guest is or where they come from. Read more in Circassian hospitality.
Words for the table
Lesson 29 of the app’s audio course calls these the words “every Circassian table turns on”. Tap to hear each in Kabardian and Adyghe.
| English | Kabardian | Adyghe |
|---|---|---|
| the elder who leads the table | тхьэмадэthemade | тхьаматэthamate |
| respect, decency | нэмысnemys | нэмысnemys |
| the hosts | бысымbysym | бысымbysym |
| custom, tradition | хабзэkhabze | хабзэkhabze |
| Circassian custom is precious. | Адыгэ хабзэр лъапIэщ.Adyge khabzer lhap'eshch. | Адыгэ хабзэр лъапIэ.Adyge khabzer lhap'e. |
And the phrases of a visit, from the welcome at the door to the last cup of tea:
| English | Kabardian | Adyghe |
|---|---|---|
| Welcome! (to one guest) | Къеблагъэ!Qyeblaghe! | Къеблагъ!Qyeblagh! |
| Welcome! (to several guests) | Фыкъеблагъэ!Fyqyeblaghe! | Шъукъеблагъ!Shuqyeblagh! |
| Dear guest. | ХьэщIэ дахэ.Heshch'e dakhe. | ХьакIэ дахэ.Hak'e dakhe. |
| Sit down. | КъэтIысQet'ys | КъэтIысQet'ys |
| Thank you. Your house is beautiful. | Упсэу. Уи унэр дахэщ.Upseu. Wi uner dakheshch. | Опсэу. Уиунэр дахэ.Opseu. Wiuner dakhe. |
| Do you want tea? | Шей ухуей?Shyey ukhuyey? | Щай уфая?Shchay ufaya? |
| Yes, I’d like tea. | НтIэ, шей сыхуейщ.Nt'e, shyey sykhuyeyshch. | Ары, щай сыфай.Ary, shchay syfay. |
| Let’s eat. | Еуэ дышхэнщ.Yewe dyshkhenshch. | НекIо, тышхэщт.Nyek'o, tyshkheshcht. |
| This is delicious! | Мыр IэфIщ!Myr 'ef'shch! | Мыр IэшIу!Myr 'esh'u! |
| No, thank you, I’ve eaten. | Хьэуэ, упсэу. Сэ сышхащ.Hewe, upseu. Se syshkhashch. | Хьау, опсэу. Сэ сышхагъ.Hau, opseu. Se syshkhagh. |
| Come visit us. | Ди деж хьэщIапIэ къакIуэ.Di dyezh heshch'ap'e qak'we. | Тадэжь къакIо.Tadezh qak'o. |
Hear the whole visit as a scene on how to say welcome in Circassian, and find 97 more phrases in the Circassian phrasebook.
What about toasts?
We have not printed sample toasts. Every Circassian line on this site comes from our native-speaker-checked course, and the course does not teach toasts yet. When it does, they will appear here with audio.
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Circassian table etiquette: questions
Who leads a Circassian table?
The thamate: the oldest or most respected person present. At a feast he paces the speeches and sets the order of the toasts.
Where does the guest sit?
In the place of honour. In a room the most honourable seat is the one furthest from the door.
What should young people do at the table?
Stand when an elder enters, wait to be invited before sitting, eating or speaking, and not interrupt. The youngest serves, and the eldest drinks first.
What do you say when you are offered more food?
You can say “no, thank you, I’ve eaten”: in the table above, with audio in Kabardian and Adyghe.
Is the word tamada Circassian?
Possibly. One theory traces the Georgian word tamada to the Circassian word for leader; another derives it from Persian.
Sources
- Wikipedia (English), “Adyghe Khabze”. en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Adyghe_Khabze
- Wikipedia (Russian), «Тамада». ru.wikipedia.org/wiki/%D0%A2%D0%B0%D0%BC%D0%B0%D0%B4%D0%B0
- Circassian App, Habze lessons (Respect and family; Weddings).
- Circassian App audio course, lesson 29 (Kabardian and Adyghe).
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